Kiss Me or Kill Me
by RenaElaine
Summary: Even the most loyal can become frustrated. Beneath the cold exterior of pureblood life there are feelings, secrets, and wants. One-shot. My entry for round 1 of the Battle of Hogwarts competition on the Diagon Alley II forum.


**This is my entry for the Death Eaters in Round 1 of the Battle of Hogwarts competition in the Diagon Alley II forum.**

**Prompts:**

**Dialogue: Kiss me or kill me, the choice is yours (3)**

**Characters: James (1), Bellatrix (4), Narcissa (1)**

**Pairing: Bellatrix/James (5)**

**Words: Chandelier (1), Blackberries (1), Ice (1), Velvet (1)**

**Creature: House Elf (3)**

**Spells: Expecto Patronum (5)**

**Total: 26 points**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter all rights belong to their respective owner.**

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><p>The day was no different than any other, at least in her mind. Then again, her mind was different than most. <span>Bellatrix Black<span> was never known for being particularly sane.

She began the day as normal, waking fully and completely just as the fingertips of dawn began creeping through her single window. Except the day wasn't normal, she was to be married the next day. Not that she cared.

"Elf!" she snapped, having not bothered to remember the poor creatures name even after all the years he'd spent serving her family.

"Yes, mistress." The elf came at once, not that he had much a choice, with head bowed.

"Fetch me my slippers," she ordered, swinging her legs from under piles of blankets to dangle them over the side of her bed.

"Ma'am," he stuttered, looking as if he was about to risk his life. "Why must I be the one to grab your shoes?" A stiff silence hung dryly in the air before Bellatrix shrieked, "Aaaaaaahahaha! A house elf questioning orders, aaaaah! Impudent piece of filth!"

The house elf's eyes quivered with fear as Bellatrix removed herself from the bed and began approaching him. "Go!" She flung her arm out violently to point towards the door. "Go punish yourself!" At her command the elf fled, grateful for his life. Nothing like starting the day with a little abuse.

"Damn elf," she murmured once he had left. "I just didn't want to step on the cold floor." Finishing her trek across the room she stopped near an ornate dresser in front of which she had placed her slippers. Quickly, she buried her toes into the warm black wool embroidered with Slytherin crest before venturing to her closet.

It was a walk-in closet, an odd (and in Bellatrix's case unused) commodity for older homes such as the Black Manor. A broom slumped in a corner and a trunk sat at the end, but other than that it was incredibly bare. Only a few articles of clothing, mostly dresses, were hung in the ample space. She grabbed blindly for one, it's not like her decision mattered for they were all black, and changed, leaving the closet almost as soon as she had entered.

Before leaving her chamber she stopped briefly to examine herself in the lavish mirror mounted atop the dresser. Her features were angular, and her skin pale as a full moon standing in sharp contrast with her night black hair; she was the image of pristine pureblood beauty. She slipped a comb through her silken hair more out of habit than actual need. Her mother had cared deeply about those sorts of things, making sure their looks were at their finest whether they needed to be or not. In that sense her mother kept an iron grip from beyond the grave.

Once finished she swept from the room and descended a grand staircase, slippers still adorning her feet. The stairs emptied out into a large oblong room with a massive mahogany dining set monopolizing the majority of the space. A head of blond hair sat at the end closest to her and dined daintily on oatmeal.

She stopped on the last step and cleared her throat unobtrusively. Narcissa Black jerked her head and in seeing who it was smiled broadly. "Bella, good to see you." Removing herself from the absurdly high backed chair she stood and embraced her sister for a short second.

"Good to see you as well. Glad to the Muggle contraption taking you to and from Hogwarts didn't kill you this time." Bellatrix seated herself next to her sister as an extremely distraught house elf peered through a kitchen doorway at the far end of the room. A silence fell over the sisters as they stared at the newcomer, Bellatrix looking haughty and Narcissa mildly shocked.

Slowly, he removed himself from the doorway and let the light from a magnificent chandelier reflect off his raw red skin, the texture of tanned hide. Hesitantly he crept foreword, shaking hands clutching a silver bowl of oatmeal meant for Bellatrix. His breath quivered in the still air as he released the bowl gently on the table in front of Bella, revealing blisters blossomed throughout his palm and fingers. Turning, the elf began to make its way back out, but not before Bella could harshly slap the top of his bald head leaving a white handprint. The elf scurried away as if he couldn't leave fast enough.

Still stunned, Narcissa was left to cover her surprise. There was a time when Bella wasn't like that. Narcissa had noticed the transformation was becoming increasingly fast. She'd just come home for summer break after only a few months away, but Bella had deteriorated quite a lot in the time apart.

Bella dug into her breakfast as Narcissa attempted to cover her concern for her sister with conversation. "So, are you excited for tomorrow?"

Pausing mid-bite Bella looked up in surprise, oblivious to what her little sister was referring to.

"You are getting married tomorrow," Narcissa gently prodded, trying to goad some reaction or emotion. Bellatrix nodded slightly to indicate she remembered, before returning to the meal she had deemed more interesting. "It's your last day as a single woman," Narcissa continued, only fueled by her sister's indifference, "should I plan a bachelorette party?" There was still no response from Bella.

Growing frustrated Narcissa sighed heavily, "You used to talk to me…"

"Whatever Cissy! You want to throw a stupid party, I don't care. It's not like this marriage is for my sake."

Thinking she understood, Narcissa began oozing compassion. "If you're scared, that's alright. Rudolphus is a nice man. He's a pureblood and he'll be good to you Bella."

"I don't care about Rudolphus or the marriage. Merlin! Cissy, when are you going to get your head out of the clouds? There is a revolution going on around you." A fanatic glaze came over Bella's eyes, one Narcissa had never seen before.

"The Dark Lord." It was a somber statement, not a question. She'd been expecting it for some time; it seemed her sister had fallen into the trap along with everyone else.

"Yes! Can't you see the good of purifying the world?"

Narcissa was unable to respond, there was nothing she could say. Bella remained forward and engaged, eagerly awaiting a show of support from her sister. Their eyes met, blue against brown, sky versus earth, both unmoving. There was going to be no support.

"I see." Bella leaned back into her chair and folded her arms in an effort to stand down and keep their relationship in tact; she couldn't. Again she found herself on the edge of her seat with both hands splayed on the table and speaking in earnest.

"You know this is right. Us, the purebloods, we are right. I know you fear war Cissy, but we must. There is no choice." Each word was a knife, sharp and deadly, utterly committed, no doubt. That uncertainty would serve her well.

The eye contact broke and silence descended on the room like a hawk preying on the tense atmosphere. Gazes wandered the room, Narcissa's settling on a chip in the table, remnants of a marital dispute turned sour.

"You know something." Narcissa's examination was cut short as she shot her head up to face the reflection of the chandelier within her sister's glassed over eyes. "Don't act so surprised, I can tell when you are hiding something by now."

"I didn't want to tell you, you aren't in your right state of mind."

"Bitch." _Right, Salazar forbid I care about you,_ thought Narcissa resentfully. This wasn't the Bella she'd grown up with.

"Someone approached me at the end of term," she divulged, her reluctance apparent in her soft voice and downcast eyes. "Big fellow, said to deliver a message, or else."

"What did he say?!" Bellatrix was so far out of her seat, her long locks trailed through the almost full bowl of oatmeal still in front of her.

" 9 o clock, Forest of Dean."

A crack echoed through the room and Narcissa knew she was gone, slippers and all. All that was left was a severely burned house elf, two long forgotten bowls of oatmeal, and a young woman who had handed her sister over to darkness.

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><p>Crack! A large man appeared in the forest as a young woman slunk out from her hiding spot behind a tree.<p>

"Took you long enough, you said 9 o clock," she accused.

"I got caught up in some other business."

"That's suitably vague."

"Fuck off, do you want to hear his orders or not?" Bellatrix quieted at the man's words, she knew what she was there for.

"Dedicated to him, aren't you? You should be off getting your hair and nails done, getting ready to be the perfect little bride. Are you going to wear white? I'd love to see you in a big poofy dress. Maybe even a tiara. But most importantly, does Rudolphus even know you're here?"

Bellatrix stood stock still as the man began slowly circling her, weaving in between trunks as wide around as a giant's waist. A coy smile tugged at his roughly shaven face as he snickered and taunted.

"Shut it, Dolohov." Her demeanor became threatening and her eyes hardened as she began tapping her fingers against her leg.

"Have I struck a nerve? What, are you upset your dear mummy is not going to see her baby girl all grown up and married?"

"Well, you know more about the cause of that than I do."

"Despite your beliefs, I am not responsible for your mother's death. It was her own fault."

"I said shut it Dolohov." It took every ounce of her restraint to not kill him then and there. She probably would've if it weren't for the very important message he carried.

"Why address me by my surname, Bella? I've known you since you were a little girl. Our families were so close."

"That didn't stop you from killing her."

"Your mother killed herself as soon as she started corresponding with your blood traitor of a sister."

"Shut up, before I hex you to hell and back!" She'd given him the reaction he wanted, she'd cracked. He smirked, pale gray lips twisting across his face as he stopped circling and moved closer. "You, dearie, need to control your temper. If you snap this easily, how are you to be trusted?"

Silence consumed them for what seemed in Bellatrix's mind to be the millionth time that day, as the truth to his words set in. Regaining her formal composure, she addressed him again, "Enough banter, Antonin. The Dark Lord wants things done quickly."

Dolohov retreated and began his vulture like circles again, cruel smile still present. "That's a good girl; learn to be better for him."

The leaves and pine needles crunched like bones beneath his feet drawing her gaze down to the ground. Upon looking at down she noted her feet were still adorned in slippers.

"Just woke up, did ya?"

_Damn,_ she thought, _how is he so good at reading people?_ Ebony strands slipped from behind her ears and she took no care to place them back. _I don't hate him because he killed my mother; I hate him because he messes with my head._ Frustration rekindled, she looked up and began turning in place to track him with her eyes. "Stalling much Atonin?" It was her turn to smirk as she took an offensive position in the mental battle taking place.

"Not at all Bella," he drolled smoothly, the venomous bite to her words had no affect on him.

"Really? Could've had me fooled."

"Well you're an easy one to trick."

"Wow, he must've given me a really enjoyable task for you to be this jealous." Her eyes narrowed to investigate his reaction, she'd guessed right, not that she's call it a guess.

He stopped pacing and lost the edge in his voice, admitting defeat. "Well done. You'll serve him well Bella." Most no one could sense his ulterior motives.

The icy apprehension that had clouded the atmosphere thawed as Dolohov moved towards Bella again.

"Now that I've passed your little test, could you give me his orders?"

He sighed, and having dropped the jeering became quite personable. Dolohov could be attractive and friendly when he wasn't caught up in a vicious pretense. Secretly, Bella knew her mother had considered him as a potential suitor. He was pureblood, around the same age as her, as well as fit and decent looking. He was also extremely dedicated to the Dark Lord.

"You know the Potters?" he addressed her, interrupting her musings.

"Of course I know the Potters, blood traitors," she scoffed, not letting her guard down despite Dolohov's changed attitude. "They've become of interest to the Dark Lord."

"Are they members of the Order?"

"No, but they may become so if not stopped." Having answered her query he continued. "They have a son, James; he's a few years younger than your Narcissa I believe."

"What does he wish me to do?" Bellatrix was quickly growing impatient and began jittering her leg and glaring with even further passion. Dolohov remained steady; he was not to be rushed.

"Take the boy, do what you will with him. Don't engage the parents, just scare them. Fear for a child is so much greater than fear for oneself, or so I've heard." A cruel smile played at his lips once again, but before another exchange could take place Bella was gone.

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><p>It wasn't hard for Bellatrix to abduct the boy, he wasn't hard to find or overpower. Being that term had ended so recently, James was at home with his family, having not begun any sort of summer travel.<p>

The Potter's home was a large house, built out of gray stone and spanning three stories including a basement. It was not as old as most the homes purebloods lived in, for their betrayal had left them without a place in a family manor. The home was placed atop a small knoll and covered in wildly branching English Oaks that earned it the name Oak Knoll.

To find the location of Oak Knoll, Bellatrix had gone over to her aunt's house, Number 12 Grimmauld Place, under the pretense of seeking help for wedding plans. Throughout the rest of the morning she endured boring chatter and niceties, eventually accepting an invitation to stay for lunch. At this point she took it upon herself to slip a bit of Veritaserum into her cousin Sirius's water glass. Afterwards, she cornered him and proceeded with a fierce interrogation heralding in an address. In leaving she was kind enough to perform a Memory Charm. However, she could not reverse everything and the potion would take some time to wear off. Rumor was this resulted in an extreme 'heart to heart' between Sirius and his family later that afternoon.

Once she knew Oak Knoll's location she apparated there, making an effort to appear just outside the property's perimeter as to not draw attention. Testing for protective charms she only found a few and easily bypassed them. So under the cover of the foliage she crept up the hill and closer to the house. Remaining alert she looked for any indications of where on the property the boy might be.

If it had been anyone else under any different circumstances, they would've stopped to admire the idyllic view. Daylight had begun to flee over the horizon like a child afraid of the dark and whatever was left of its presence lit up the canopy of leaves like thousands of electric green candles. It seemed some child had smeared fingers still sticky from eating blackberries across the sky and left streaks of rich color. Unfortunately, Bella had no appreciation for this. She came with a purpose and was not to be distracted by frivolities such as sunsets.

A laugh sounded from a window nearby to her and she looked to find a silhouette in its frame. From the size and shape she could tell it was the boy, she hadn't even needed to search for him. Strangely, he was having a very animated conversation with some sort of reflective surface.

_Two way mirror,_ she deduced, _I can use that to my advantage._ Silently, from behind a tree trunk, she cast a Full Body Bind Curse, aiming not at the boy, but the mirror. The jet of light shattered the window and mirror before bouncing back and nailing the boy in the center of his forehead. It was so quick he hadn't had time to react and instead dropped to the floor with a dull thud while glass rained down upon him.

In a surprisingly easy manner, considering the length of her skirts, Bellatrix slipped through the window and skillfully avoided the millions of bits of glass that glittered deceivingly. Grabbing tightly onto the boys stiff arm, she disapparated.

By the time the Potter's came running, having heard the noise, their only son was long gone.

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><p>As one would expect upon being released from the curse <span>James<span> was severely disoriented. Before he could make a move to observe his surroundings or regain his bearings, a set of handcuffs flew at him and locked his wrists to the wrought iron bedpost he was leaning against. The force of their trajectory threw his head against the iron bar and blurred his vision.

"Would you look at that? A Muggle contraption with an actual use."

James lifted his head to examine the leering voice through profusely watering eyes. It seemed to originate from a black blob leaning in the shadows of a massive armoire. Looking back down he examined the floor he was sitting on, cold, dark, hardwood.

Noticing his analyses of the surroundings, Bella took the opportunity to jeer. "Poor little baby, all hurt and confused, trying to figure out where mummy is."

_I think I'm in her bedchamber,_ he thought, ignoring her teasing.

She moved forward revealing her aristocratic features. Immediately, he realized what this was about; Voldemort. The woman was most obviously a follower for she fit all the criteria, disdain etched into her face, Slytherin décor, and visible pureblood ancestry.

"Why?" James asked. Bellatrix was surprised at the boy's audacity to speak for any other reason then to plea. He was supposed to be quaking in fear, surely he understood the situation. "Why me? My parents aren't in the Order and I have done nothing to fight."

"Wars are not only fought with wands. The views your parents' posses are toxic and pollute the people around them too."

"Sage words, for someone who has to handcuff a mere student." Anger flared vibrantly within Bella; she had perhaps the shittiest day possible (not that she'd admit it affected her) and was now taking crap from a hostage. Before she could move to harm James a timid voice sounded from outside the door.

"Master, dinner is ready. Mistress Narcissa wishes your attendance."

"No!" Bella shrieked redirecting her fury at the poor creature a hurling a jewelry box at the door. The bang created by this action was a fantastic one, but it only made a small dent before falling to the ground and spewing heirlooms across the floor.

"Cheerful person, aren't you?" Black hair flopped in front of his face as he had the gumption to smile.

Bellatrix froze, staring at him with a confused vehemence. Within the confines of a single day, the day before her wedding no less, she'd argued with her sister, been toyed with by her mothers murderer, and begun enduring comments from HER captive. Any normal woman would have burst after the first event, but rage manifests itself in strange ways. Especially in woman already as screwed up as Bellatrix.

"What? Have you chosen to ignore me rather than torture me?"

_Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupidly brave._ Bellatrix described the boy within her mind. The boy could obviously see the flames within her soul and made the conscious decision to stoke the fire.

Here she was, an adult still controlled by her dead mother and the constituencies of pureblood life. Tomorrow she was to marry a man purely for the purpose of image , while the boy she'd abducted for the use of fear tactics mocked her.

Sure, Rudolphus was brave enough, willing to join the Death Eaters and risk his life for pureblood supremacy, but he was not completely and idiotically courageous. Bellatrix had always hated Gryffindors for this quality, but for the first and last time in her life, she felt envious of it. For once she wanted to simply not do what was interpreted as best or right for her and those she followed. She wanted to do something totally, irrationally stupid.

Glancing out the single window one could see that the once juice smeared sky had been wiped away by a dark purple napkin. Stars began appearing like holes poked in the cloth. Softly, she walked over to him and knelt. Only their breathing was audible.

Daring to gaze at her directly, he could sense a crazed gleam. Like black ice it was not visible, but most definitely present.

Gently, she lifted a slender hand and brought it towards his face. Fear now set into James's mind, but he refused to break the eye contact. Placing her fingers on his cheek with velvet touch she whispered, "You know I've never been able to produce a Patronus."

Caught unaware by the sudden change, James attempted a snarky remark to relieve the intensity, but it only came out as breathless and stuttering. "The incantation's simple; Expecto Patronum."

"I know that, the incantation's not the problem. I'm simply not happy enough." She moved even closer so her deep red lips hovered inches from his shaking pale ones. Inhaling deeply he found a solidarity within himself, no matter what he would fight, he would endure.

"Kiss me or kill me, the choice is yours," he challenged.

"Maybe I'll do both."

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Please review, favorite, and follow, everything is appreciated!<strong>

**-Rena**


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